Blog #11: Discovering Thanksgiving

My parents moved from India to the US in 1975 with a one year old daughter and I was born the following year. While they were fluent in English and had visited America prior to moving, almost everything about the American culture was new to them. My mother shared stories of not knowing where to put the soap in a laundry machine at her first laundromat and wearing saris and coats to work in a NYC winter. Like the weather and appliances, getting acquainted with American holidays also had a learning curve. Thankfully, my parents always had a culturally mixed group of friends (which can be hard when you are an immigrant) due to work and, well, just having an open mind. In fact, I always thought, why would you move to another country if you don’t care to acclimate to that countries cultures and ways? Well, almost any immigrant you ask would probably say that they moved to give their children more opportunities. Luckily ,(and with an outspoken kid who would ask a lot of questions) they not only adjusted well, but even mastered all of the American holiday traditions, one of which is the Thanksgiving meal. 

Before my mother knew how to make this somewhat monochromatic spread (and believe me, our table always had a pop of color and spice), she and my dad took us out to eat at a nice restaurant for our first Thanksgiving meal experience. I vaguely remember her sharing that even with here sincerest efforts to help the family blend in, my sister was upset that she couldn’t order a cheeseburger (which is made funnier but the fact that she hasn’t eaten beef in maybe 20 years), and was pouting the whole time because we were missing “The Wizard of Oz” on television. It makes me chuckle to think about. As I’ve said before, children can be so difficult to please. 

Probably after the restaurant Thanksgiving meal fiasco, she decided it was time to learn how to make this iconic, American meal. I believe she asked my Dad’s bosses wife for some tips and got some recipes to try. Time to discover the undiscovered. The story of an immigrants life, right? Now I’ll have you know, there’s nothing my mom can’t cook. But, imagine how strange and bland many of this dishes must’ve seemed! As every family has, it wasn’t long before we had our own signature dishes that graced the Thanksgiving table. In retrospect, one thing I loved about our Thanksgivings was that we always had a mix of the American, traditional fixings and some Indian dishes as well which made for an amazing blend of flavors and colors on the plate. While it may be hard to recognize as a pre-teen, there are a plethora of benefits to growing up in a bi-cultural world and I’m so glad that I can see the beauty in that now. How many of you wish you could have had turkey and gravy and the best, home made chicken curry at your Thanksgiving table? I know, I was pretty lucky. We had so many options. 

A few of the Thanksgiving sides that have withstood the test of time in our family are the spicy sausage stuffing and the sweet potato salad. Our good friend Carol used to bring over the spicy sausage stuffing every year and we eventually adopted it as our own. I’m not sure where the sweet potato salad recipe came from but it’s laden with mandarin oranges, green onions, fresh, cooked sweet potatoes  and a mix of mayonnaise and sour cream. You just have to try it. It’s so light and refreshing and provides the perfect balance to the rest of the meal. 

While I now grapple with the historical meaning of this holiday, knowing that it commemorates a feast between the Pilgrims and Native Americans but brushes over the brutal violence shown towards them and white exploitation of indigenous resources, we grew up with our own traditions about valuing the people we love and sharing a meal with them. This is what it has come to mean to me (as I don’t really want to align myself with supporting a history that was never really taught with honesty). I choose to “give thanks” on this day, for the food on my table, for the love in my life and for the will to go on. And I’m thankful for my mother, who had to “Discover the Undiscovered”, everyday of her life in a foreign land, where her children grew up with a nationality different than her own (which is now her own as well), and adopted that culture whole-heartedly, with an open mind and beautiful spirit. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Try a new dish this year. Who knows, maybe it will become a tradition.